Rambling's Of A Contented Woman

http://www.the-n.com/games/quiz_main.php?id=2868&source=quizilla

A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that
actually hypnotize women (& men ) and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the
fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one
squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food), therefore
perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind
being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed
that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few of

breed of women ( & men) known as 'Quilters'.

When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants 'buy me, cut me,
sew me!" In order to overcome the so-called 'feeding frenzy effect' that these
fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and
use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however,
at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and
headphones!) .

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to
spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. They are
called FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been my experience that these same
Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when
taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a

significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for a while".

I hope Brandy doesn't mind, but I have to share this with you all.
She emailed me the most adorable letter and well, I wanna share it
with everyone. My response to her follows...enjoy!
**********
subject: I lost count!

Good-ness! How many children do you have? I was looking at your
photos (I followed the link) and I saw that you have 4 boys and is it
2 girls? You must have been BUSY (in more ways than one, ummhmm)!   When
do you quilt?

The photo of you and King Kong, well, you are not what I expected. I
expected a sweet little old Grandma with gray hair and a walker and
you look like a young wild child! I never expected to see the word a$$,
you are a character!

As you may remember, this email is comming from a 24 yr old with 2 3/4
children.

Thank you for sharing the photos! I feel like I know you better, and
now I know you are nothing like what I expected!

Brandy

***********

Brandy,

Girl, you have me laughin...lol...omg!

First things first...I do have grey hair, but don't tell Miss
Clairol. She will help me deny it to the end.

Secondly, I love you cos you say I look like a young wild child...woo
hoo...having a baby face finally paid off.

Thirdly, only four of the kids are technically mine. Alana is 23,
Phylicia is 22, Martail is 18, and my baby is 17.

Fourthly, and this is really gonna knock your socks off...I got my
nose piercred this weekend!

So, now that you know most of my dirty lil secrets, I got one more
for you. I once made love on the beach in broad day light! It was a
warm February day in Virginia and um, well...u know the rest.

I suppose I do come off like a lil ole granny, but right now my
biggest fear is looking like someone's mom...hence the nose
ring...lol. Lucky for me, my inner child beats the living daylights
of that lil ole granny on a daily basis.

You have absolutely and without a doubt, made my day, week, month,
and maybe even my year...lol. Feel free to write any ole time u
wanna...lol.

I am so glad we got to know one another a little better, and by the
way, if you ever decide to take a small break from all that
responsibilty, come see me. I will teach you everything I
know....rotflmao.

Many hugs and much love...kiss them babies for me!

Phyl-who is truly grinning from ear to ear
*******************

Wanna see the pics Brandy is talkin about?  http://picturetrail.com/ladybug7495

A successful Christian business man was growing old and knew it was
time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of
choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do
something different. He called all the young executives in his company
together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I
have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked,
but the boss continued. I am going to give each one of you a SEED
today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it,
and come back here one year from today with what you have grown
from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you
bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO"

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others,
received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story.
She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.
Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After
about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about
their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept
checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks,
five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about
their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by--still nothing in

Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had
trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to
his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the
soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife
that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be
honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was
going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his
wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim
arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other
executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his
empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt
sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great
plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one
of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO
spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered
the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified.
He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me
fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his
seed - Jim told him the story

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and
then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief
Executive!

His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his
seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a
seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it
back to me today.

But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible
for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and
plants and flowers.

When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another
seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and
honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one
who will be the new Chief Executive!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

If you plant hard work, you will reap success

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

Quilting UnFinished Objects

 

1. Christmas Log Cabin...sandwich, quilt/birth and tie
2. Friendship Blocks:  Andi & Rhonda(12.5” signed/state/dated)
3. Blue String Wallhanging...finish binding/add sleeve
4. Jeffreys Pillow...stuff/sew bottom
5. Alan’s Blankie...it's a raggedy one...have squares of batting and fabric cut
6. Bind Flip-Flop Wallhanging...bind/add sleeve
7. Blue and yellow blankie...need 23 more blue 4"squares and 80 more yellow 2.5" by 12"strips
8. Alana raggedy quilt(green & purple)
9. Roger raggedy quilt(baby blue & white)
10. Aaron raggedy quilt(orange & blue)
11. Martail raggedy quilt(baby blue& dark blue)
12. Alijah raggedy quilt(black&)
13. Disney Babies Wallhanging
14. Red String Quilt-top completed-ready to send to Rhonda
15. Blue String Quilt-not started...have blue center strips...need to cut foundations
16. Lap Blankie for special Olympics(purses)waiting on Happy Blocks to come back
17. ATW Quilt-not started
18. Country Table Cloth(red middle)sandwich/quilt
19. Blue Nickles Wallhanging-not started(have nickels)
20. HST wallhanging for living room(cut but not started)(Need to find someone to piece this sucker!)
21. Baby blankie for Deb(insurance driver)-not started
22. Red String Wallhanging(have all 12 foundations cut/some strings added)
23. Eagle Wallhanging...border...sandwich/quilt
24. Ashley’s care bear happy block blankie(have HB's cut and sending off in March 2007)/using yellow Cb's for sashing
25. Antique Postage Stamp Quilt   Raq'n this sucker to Kristen
26. Lords Supper Wallhanging...sandwich/quilt/raq to mac?
27. Footprints Wallhanging...sandwich/quilt
28. About Me Happy Block Quilt...collecting HB's for the year(2007)
29. Ladybug Happy Block Quilt/waiting on ladybug HB's...have LB dasiy sashing
30. Shamrock HB quilt...top cmpleted/sandwich and tie(birthin it, not binding)
31. Blue Jean Quilt...finish assembly
32. Corn on the cob wallhanging...have pattern and no fabrics
33. Braid Quilt...sandwich/tack quilt
34. Braid Curtains...sew together and back
35. Tops quilted:  2 strips…green/pink & multi(or birth and tie)
36. Dammit, Marie…lol.(need fabric cut into happy blocks, sent out, sewn together, sashed, birthed, and tied)
37. Lighthouse blankie for u-know-who...have some lighthouse fabric and asked Cathey for more:).
38. Take 5...have pattern
39. Yellow Brick Road...have pattern
40. Christine's BOM...waiting on pattern

1 T. Butter 3T. Cocoa Powder
3 T. All Purpose Flour 1 tsp. Vanilla
1/2 C. Sugar 2 C. Milk

In a bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, and sugar. Set aside. In
skillet over medium heat, heat butter. Add flour mixture. Stirring
constantly, add enough milk to make smooth and lump free. Continue
stirring, add remaining milk and cook until it reaches your desired
consistency. Serve over homemade biscuits. Refrigerate leftovers.

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how
awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious
for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment
of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to
flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines
as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and
credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary,
phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level
as nagging him.

Since I missed the Valentine's Swap, and I would love to be able to give each and every one of you a gift, I am posting my all time favorite chocolate recipe in honor of the holiday! 

This recipe has been in my family for years.  Please read it all the way through before starting to make it.

Here is an important tip that you may need to utilize ... 

soft-ball stage...

A test for SUGAR SYRUP describing the point at which a drop of boiling syrup immersed in cold water forms a soft ball that flattens of its own accord when removed. On a CANDY THERMOMETER, the soft-ball stage is between 234° and 240°F.

Gramma Lough's Homemade Chocolate Fudge

(Those of my generation have fondly renamed this "Sex-on-a-plate"...teehee...).  I am sure that you will agree.

3 cups of sugar
2/3 cup of baking cocoa
I cup water
1/2 cup canned/evaporated milk

Cook the above ingredients in a medium sized saucepan till it reaches the soft-ball stage.  Please note...stir to dissolve the sugar, but once the sugar is dissolved stop stirring.  The syrup will cook up...you will see that it rises up the side of the pan.  Then it will cook down to its original level.

If you do not have a candy thermometer, test for the soft-ball stage by raking a spoon(wooden is best) across the bottom of the pan to collect some syrup.  Drop a little of it into a cup of very cold water.  If it is at the proper temp, you will be able to pick up the ball from the cup and it will flatten on your finger.  Be certain to eat the fruit of that labor:).

Once the syrup reaches the soft-ball stage remove the pan from the heat.  I actually set my pan into a sink that has an  inch or so of cold water in it.  Once the boiling stops, add 2 tablespoons of butter (NOT margarine or oleo) and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  

Allow the syrup to cool.  Now comes the fun part...using a spoon beat the syrup until you have beaten the shine off.  Do NOT use a mixer for this step.  Once the syrup is no longer shiny, pour it onto a buttered plate.  Allow it to set up.  ENJOY!!!  Moaning and groaning often occur at this point:).

If you enjoy nuts, feel free to add 1/2 cup-or more- before you begin beating the fudge.  This recipe will fill a dinner plate and does not set up properly if it is doubled.

CHOCOLATE RULES

Here are some "chocolate rules" you may want to share with those to whom you bestow your gift...

* If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
* If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
* Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
* A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
* If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

And for those who love dark chocolate, just tell everyone that it was prescribed by your doctor for heart disease!